Thursday, June 20, 2024

Dating And The Single Parent

I am a single mum of 2 trying to get my shit together.

I had been single long enough to start to remember life isn’t all Peppa Pig, nappies and poop. I was starting to remember I was more than a mum. So with the encouragement of friends it was time to dip my toes in the proverbial dating waters. Having rejected the idea of picking up random drunks in a pub and with no eligible bachelors in my immediate work vicinity I joined ‘Plenty of Fish’. Jesus wept. That’s an insight into the dating world!

I’m too tight to pay so couldn’t see any of the 358 people who said they wanted to meet me having judged me by my carefully selected selfie, so I stuck to PMs – personal messages. I had a particularly beautiful one from a ‘sex instructor’ – first lesson free. Stay classy!

I saw many profile pictures of fish and cars – just what a woman wants. The first message I chose to answer was from someone we shall call ‘ The Car Salesman’. The messages progressed nicely – he lived not too far away, had no ex wives and no criminal record (yes I did ask) so we swapped phone numbers and arranged a date. This was easy!! I planned an outfit and spent numerous hours discussing the fine art of dating with aforementioned friends. Except the day before he cancels and then doesn’t speak to me for 4 months. Right not so easy then…

I took a wee break and tried dating in real life. A friend that I would often bump into in town showed an interest so we started chatting. This is the way to do it, I thought – real life! What could go wrong? But after 8 weeks of no dates and a conversation that went along the lines of “I’m not really bothered by physical contact, I’ve never been in love and I’m too busy to see you” I gave up with that particular real life man.

My second go with Plenty of Fish led to a few messages from a guy I’m literally convinced was on ‘The Undateables’ and a couple of offers for ‘fun’. What type of fun? Soft play? Poking my kids while they are watching TV to annoy them? I didn’t demand clarification. Having dismissed this one, I decided to take the bull by the horns and messaged a man we shall call ‘The Footballer’. Again the messages progressed swimmingly (‘swimming’, ‘fish’ – see what I did there?) and he asked me out on another date. Except he wasn’t sure when as he was a bit ‘busy’. Three weeks later he was still ‘busy’. Next!

So this leads me nicely to number 3. Or third time lucky I had hoped, with one we shall call ‘The Mechanic’. He hadn’t disclosed any mental health issues and hadn’t cancelled so it was actually going better than the previous attempts. Did it end well? Unfortunately let’s just say that, as the name suggests, he turned out to be a massive tool!

So single mum dating? My advice is to stick with it, don’t lower your standards, avoid sex instructors and people who can’t get their whole faces in their profile pictures. As for me we will see. Keep your fingers crossed…

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