If Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year the first couple of weeks of January must be the least wonderful! After all, now that the build up and excitement is all gone you’re left with a plastic-filled dumping ground where your living room once was and a set of scales that refuse to tell you your ‘enhanced’ weight for fear of hurting your feelings / being hurled across the bathroom!
I always get quite reflective around the new year so I thought I’d share with you some of the things that have been playing on my mind recently.
1. If our house looks so big and empty now that the decorations are down, what the hell does Father Christmas’ place look like now that all the toys have been delivered?!
2. Do I actually have a physical limit on the number of chocolates I can eat in one evening? I assume I must have, but I don’t appear to have ever reached it yet.
3. Would our little one have been equally content with 5 small toys as he appears to be with the 243 that are wedged into our living room?
4. What was it about the remote-controlled forklift truck toy that we thought would be a good idea? A two-pronged plastic weapon hurtling towards your shins each evening does not make for relaxing TV viewing.
5. How many times can a 2 year old build a Thomas puzzle before it becomes boring and we can have our floor back?
6. How does Poppy, our illuminated polar bear, really feel about her head being rammed up her own arse every year in order for her to fit back into her packing box?
7. Why do some toy manufacturers still make toys that require square batteries?!
8. How long do I have to pretend to be on a diet / fitness kick for before I can just accept that I’m fat and old?
9. How many of the people who claimed not to be sending Christmas cards because they were donating the money to charity actually just couldn’t be arsed to send Christmas cards?
10. Why do people always feel the need to design lists in round numbers, when in reality the last point is always a bit shit?
So there you have it. I will continue to ponder these key issues whilst eating 3 low fat chocolate desserts.
Happy New Year!