The Wonderful World Of Words

I’ve talked before about some of the rather peculiar things that Joshua comes out with from time to time. This week has been no exception. We have encountered:

Hard On

Joshua burps almost as often as his dad, so we have been teaching him to say ‘pardon’. We thought this was going well, until I worked out he was actually saying ‘hard on’ as opposed to ‘pardon’. Not ideal. My attempts to correct this oversight went as follows:

‘It’s pardon, Josh. Not hard on!’

‘Hard on?’

‘No Josh. It’s pardon. PARDON!’

‘Hard on?’

‘No! Pardon. With a P!’

‘Pee hard on?’

I should be an early years language teacher. I clearly have a gift.

However, we have now almost fixed it. If we say it slowly and really emphasize the two syllables he can say ‘pardon’, albeit in the style of a French person. Swings and roundabouts…

Bum Sleep

Sometimes when Joshua is laying on the floor face downwards I pretend to fall asleep on him, with a wide array of snoring noises. He will routinely slither out from under my head and run around the house laughing hysterically. As you would. He then screams at a pitch suitable for breaking glass in order to ‘wake me up’ from my ‘sleep’. We then move on and push more plastic crap around the house.

This week however he has found the whole scenario so comical that he has wanted to replicate the experience and now routinely shouts ‘Daddy! Sleep on my bum again.’

Hopefully it remains a phrase for at home and doesn’t spread to the cafe in Dunelm in due course.

Frances Farmers Will Have Her Revenge

Yes, it was a Nirvana reference.

Anyway, Joshua has been getting REALLY into his nursery rhymes over the past few weeks. He loves watching that horror show Little Baby Bum on Netflix and seems to sing them almost constantly. Those and cartoon theme tunes of course. One of his favourites seems to be ‘Old McDonald’.

However, in keeping with the French theme, the famed farmer now appears to be called ‘Arnold Daurnald’‘ in Joshua’s version. He does still have a variety of animals that make amusing noises though, so we can live with a French farmer for now.

We also have a little boy who lives down the lake rather than the lane, but that’s quite cute and he seems quite set on the lakeside living.

The Boy In The Basket

Whilst scrolling through my phone the other day to show Joshua the photo I had just taken of him, he started describing every photo. It was quite fun for the first 20 photos, but then he lost interest and started rapidly scrolling through every photo saying ‘that’s me, and that’s me, and that’s me’ x 75. Admittedly 97.4% of my photos are now of Joshua so perhaps he was making a high brow social commentary on the obsession that parents have with photographing their small people. Or he has a short attention span. One or the other.

We did however get some detailed descriptions…

‘It’s me. In a basket. With no clothes on.’

‘It’s me. Holding a screwdriver. Screwing a screw. Left to loose and right to tight.’

Kids are fun.