Wednesday, May 22, 2024

It’s Getting Hot In Here…

As the legendary poet Nelly once said, ‘it’s getting hot in herre so take off all your clothes’. Who knows what ‘herre’ actually meant but conceptually it was a sound strategy.

Some of you may have spotted that it has indeed been getting a little hot in herre, and indeed therre, over the last couple of days. Knowing The Sun’s penchant for journalistic accuracy and integrity they would likely have reported that Britain was hotter than Venus yesterday and would probably have shown a photo of a skinny man frying an egg on a pavement in Slough. And to be fair it has been a little on the toasty side.

British people aren’t designed for 30+ degree weather. We like to moan when it’s less than 25 degrees but that’s nothing compared to the heights of moaniness (yes it’s a word) that spurts out when it hits 30 degrees.

To be fair ‘holiday heat’ like you get in abroadland  (no that’s not a word) is different to British heat. Holiday heat is just hot – and is generally accompanied by pools and cocktails and beaches and reduced feelings of self-consciousness due to being surrounded by strangers and being a bit pissed.

British heat is special – it’s not JUST hot. It’s also STICKY. Words that are never used start popping up in conversation like ‘close’, ‘muggy’, ‘prickly’ and ‘oppressive’. British heat is bad heat it would appear and causes people to hope for thunderstorms to ‘clear the air’. To be fair, overseas heat tends to come with air conditioned bedrooms and that is a key factor in why our heat is a bit of an arsehole by comparison.

In our house the sleeping in heat scenario is intensified by the fact that we don’t have windows open during the evening, for fear of an army of spiders invading. Our assumption is that a family of spiders sits outside each of our bedroom windows waiting to creep indoors the very second a window is cracked open, like the Trojans sitting inside their wooden horse waiting for their moment to pounce. Although the Trojans probably had intentions to maim and destroy rather than just chill out on a wall or in a bath minding their own business.

As if to prove that fact, Sarah had opened the very small top window in little one’s bedroom for a few hours today to reduce the heat and when I went to put him to bed this evening it was like a scene from Arachnophobia in his room. Albeit a deleted scene in which there was just a small solitary long-legged spider chilling on the door.

The monitor in his room is currently showing 31 degrees, which by anyone’s standards is bloody hot to sleep in. We’ve had curtains closed and open windows all day and a fan going, but there’s no way of getting the heat down in the whole of our upstairs. It’s  (probably) similar to trying to get a night’s kip in the core of the earth, but little one is certainly making a better job of it than we have been on our lovely memory foam mattress, seemingly designed to store heat and throw it back at you. Meh.

However, the hot weather has been lovely for spending time in the garden. Whilst I’ve been on a 7 day stretch at work, little one has been spending a good amount of time in the activity paddling pool in our garden with Sarah and my parents and loving every second of it! When I got home today he was having a cracking time splashing around and soaking my parents!


So despite the pitfalls of the 2 day British summertime I’m really glad that little one has had the chance to enjoy some sunshine and have some fun, especially given we’re not doing abroadland this year. Let’s hope for a nice thunderstorm tonight though so we can go back to moaning about the shit weather tomorrow…

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24 thoughts on “It’s Getting Hot In Here…

  • Now that is a paddling pool!

    It is funny that the same weather we pay hundreds of pounds to visit drives us batshit at home. But you’re right it’s the lack of alcohol that does it.

    Bah fecking humbug!

    • Cold cocktails from a swim up bar with an all inclusive buffet and I’d be delighted with this weather. Sitting in a hot office all day and sleeping in an oven – not so much!!

  • I’m so with you on this – I’m definitely designed for this kind of heat. I’ve actually found myself wanting to go food shopping so I can hide in the chiller aisle! #FridayFrolics

    • It’s definitely an air conditioning unit and a swim up bar away from being lovely!!

  • So funny you admit that British people are not able to cope with high temperature hahaha and your little one with those shades is such a babe! Love it! #FridayFrolics

    • He generally refuses to wear hats or shades but when he does he looks adorable!! Thanks for reading!

  • I’d comment but I’m feeling too guilty about my air conditioning. Sorryness. (not a word)

    • I’ll let you off as you probably get warm weather a bit more frequently than we do!! We tend to have 2 days every few years!!

  • Mouse, Moo and Me Too

    That inflatable though! Are you hosting daily parties at your house? Can I come? The upstairs of my house is currently a red beacon from all the Gro-Eggs telling me it is WAY too hot and of course no child can be expected to sleep for more than a two hour stretch in this disgusting, sweaty pit. Hopefully it’ll rain tomorrow ??? #FridayFrolics

    • Oh yes we have a house full of inflatables so come on over ??

  • “Our heat is a bit of an arsehole by comparison.” Is quite possibly the funniest thing I have read in ages. It will stick with me for the rest of the (possibly 4 day?) summer. No more “muggy” or “close” for me thank you v much. Just “arsehole”. ? You are beyond funny. And you have a nice paddling pool. 😉 #momsterslink

    • Complimenting me on my humour and inflatables in one comment! I’m welling up over here!! Thanks

  • I much prefer being cold. There’s nothing better than a big jumper a hot water bottle and a blanket. I don’t moan about being cold. I therefore reserve the right to moan constantly about it being too hot and be a complete grumpy cow about it.
    P.S Awesome paddling pool.
    Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

    • I have a definitely liking of chilly evenings. At least when it’s cold you can add layers – when it’s hot you can’t do much in public unless you didn’t mind getting arrested! Thanks for hosting!!

  • Haha brilliant post!!! We’re all Goldilocks, looking for weather that’s juuuuust right. Moany sods that we are!

    My kids were rather hideous in the heat actually so I’m glad it’s not so CLOSE today 😉

  • I’m really enjoying hearing people whine about the weather and the same people that grumbled all winter are insisting they actually quite like it 🙂 #FridayFrolics

    • It’s a very popular British pastime – it’s lucky our weather is so odd or else we’d run out of things to complain about!! Thanks for commenting!

  • Yes, it’s funny how we always have the ‘bad’ version of whatever weather, isn’t it? You know like how our utter disarray in snow is because we have ‘bad’ snow & other countries have ‘good’ snow! I do think it is mostly a question of our preparation for these things – as you say, we don’t have the air conditioning (or houses built with stone/tiled walls and floors & shutters) of hot countries, just as we don’t have the tyre chains and snow mobiles of cold countries. But, given we generally have about 2 hot days & 2 cold days a year, it wouldn’t be very cost effective to have those things!

    Wow – I thought my kids’ bedrooms were ridiculously hot! Theirs have been about 26/27 degrees. Much as I do hate spiders, my issue with bedroom windows open all night is actually moths!

    I absolutely hate heat. But I hate it in abroadland too, so I am consistent! The paddling pool looks fun though!

    Thanks so much for linking up with #FridayFrolics. Hope to see you next week!

    • Thanks for hosting – love your blog! The heat is too hot, the cold is too cold and the leaves are too leafy!

  • I couldn’t imagine not having air conditioning. Our weather has been about 100*F for the past couple weeks and along with the wind makes it miserable. And now we have smoke from fires to deal with so in other words I’m thankful for the air conditioning since we have all been stuck inside. Thanks for linking up with #momsterslink and hope to see you again today!

    • All we have is a pretty feeble fan blowing warm air around the room!! Thanks for hosting!

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