Monday, May 27, 2024

How Many Times Do I Have To Tell You…?

Do you ever find that sometimes your kids don’t do things when you ask them to?

Do you ever find when you shout out ‘requesting their company’ they often don’t answer?

I know – unbelievable isn’t it!!

Selective Hearing

It’s a daily struggle in our house.  However, all is not lost – I have found ways of getting around these ‘hearing issues’.  When, after several screams of “come here” fail, I have a couple of tried and tested methods that work every time.  I either:

Start a conversation with their dad whereby, hey presto, one of them will appear interested to know what’s going on, and what it was I just said to Dad

Failing that

There are no words needed here, just a smile as I unplug the broadband and wait.  1, 2….then the chorus of screams begin and 4 kids appear out of nowhere in the front room.  It’s never a long wait, usually instantaneous and a personal favourite of mine.


Sometimes, or if I’m being honest, all the time, my kids are prone to bouts of ‘forgetfulness’ (See ALSO HOMEWORK) and periods of ‘temporary mess blindness’ – TMB for short.

They often ‘forget’ to tidy up after themselves and are champions of where it drops it stays, leave it and move on.

From wet towels on floors to used plates & cups adorning any flat surface, with TMB they are able to successfully navigate their way, seemingly unaffected by the mess, to another room that has been untouched by children’s mess; only kidding there is no such room.

They all make their way back, muttering to their individual pit of doom, fondly known in a world without kids, bedrooms.

Luckily for them, I am always on hand to shout at them remind and encourage them to clean/tidy up after oneself.  It’s not always well received, but I hope this constant shouting encouragement to tidy up will, in time, sink in. But I am realistic in the knowledge that I am way too much of an optimist – I am a mum.


Maybe I ask too much.  After all, expecting them to bend down & pick up what they’ve dropped, or to even clear their mess up when there is no monetary benefit to them whatsoever, is a biggie, maybe even a bloody cheek.

But hey who am I to complain?  After all, and I quote “you chose to have children”. Yes I did, not sure I opted in for the choosing to tidy up eveyone’s friggin mess though! Although I am 100% sure there will be an answer to this should I dare to voice my complaint…

As we all know (excluding children) parenting is exhausting. However it would seem over here that being a kid/teen is way more exhausting.

Poor things, they have to get up so early, go to school, do homework, do, err, em, well lots of other exhausting things, while I merely just blog all day, apparently. My life is a breeze.

It struck me recently, when watching the new kids film ‘Sing’ (which I loved!) one of the characters, Rosita (a pig) is married and a stay-at-home mum of twenty-five children.

When a local talent contest gives her the chance to showcase her singing she is desperate to audition but, being a mother, life is hectic and her needs are second to her children’s.

However, not to be deterred and unable to share this dream with her tired husband and kids who never listen (sound familiar?) she sets about setting up a vast assortment of contraptions to take care of her housework, serve her family their meals, send her children off to school and put them to bed. She even has the foresight to record specific dialogue, such as using a recording to remind her husband where his keys are, recording her ‘byes’ for her family, and even recording a bedtime story for her kids – all in one night!  And they don’t even notice she has gone!

I thought of how many times I repeat things at home, or in my teenage son’s word ‘bloody nag’ on a daily basis.  I could easily record what I say and press play and just shove off somewhere.

Would they notice I wasn’t there? I wonder, after all, most days are spent walking around with one eye shut, the other eye firmly placed on phone whilst arguing with siblings.

No I don’t think they would notice – well not until they wanted something.

As I started to write, I realised very quickly I say a lot!  This is just a mere snippet of some of the same ole crap I  use, every day.

They are in no particular order of importance and are used in an unlimited capacity:

  1. Hurry up
  2. Just GET dressed
  3. Have you seen the time?
  4. We are going to be late
  5. Just eat it
  6. Well you’re not getting anything else
  7. Think of the poor starving children in Africa
  8. Who’s everyone?
  9. I said NO
  10. Because we can’t afford it
  11. For Christ’s sake, stop arguing
  12. Leave your brother alone
  13. I said bed
  14. I hope you’re not still on that phone
  15. Have you got homework?
  16. Have you done your homework?
  17. Are you listening to me?
  18. Are you actually watching this?
  19. Make sure you tidy up
  20. No, I haven’t seen it anywhere

How many, if any of the above do you use on a daily basis?

This post was first published here. For more from Everyone’s Buck Stops Here, click here or check out some of the recent posts below!

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