A major revamp of the Oxford English dictionary has led to the removal of some previously popular words following a complete lack of their recent use.
Researchers from the prestigious OED found that the majority of the general public no longer find it acceptable to simply ‘like’ or ‘dislike’ something. Instead people must now either love something almost to the point of orgasm or despise it with every sinew of their being.
Some common examples the researchers found were:
Bloggers Applying For Collaborations Via Social Media
Researchers noted that it is no longer possible for a blogger to express an interest in working with a company without using the words ‘amazing’ and ‘love’. For example:
OMFG!!!!!! This anal rash cream would be simply amazing for my arsehole. I would absolutely LOVE to work with you on this in exchange for a £2.99 tube. #blessed #anus
Researchers also looked at some reviews of a new hotel on Trip Advisor and found that out of 47 ratings given by visitors, 24 had gone for ‘terrible’ whilst the other 23 had picked ‘excellent’. No one had gone for ‘very good’, ‘average’ or ‘poor’. Here are some examples of descriptions given by reviewers regarding the food on offer:
‘The food was STUNNING 😍😍😍 Amazing selection of Michelen starred classics, served at the perfect temperature by attentive staff. When eating the steak I actually DIED and went to Heaven. I orgasmed 4 times during desert. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE’
‘The food was absolutely DISGUSTING. No variety, everything was cold, service was ABYSMAL. When eating the steak I actually VOMITED INSIDE MY MOUTH. I gave my desert to one of the passing stray dogs and it died instantly. I personally am typing this from hospital. UTTERLY VILE 🤮🤮🤮!!!!’
Facebook snippets of people’s days out were another source of information for the OED boffins. Here is one person’s account of their day:
‘Just had the BEST DAY EVER with my unbelievably stunning bae and our utterly amazing daughter.
First off we hit the jackpot, finding an intimate high end venue serving artisinal potato shapes and the very best the sea has to offer coated in a devine concoction of flour and H20. It was wrapped for us in the most amazing pure white tree product and the head chef allowed us to take it home with us. Unbelievable.
Then we had the MOST AMAZING evening as a family watching a romantic thriller set on an island. I feel so blessed right now. It just goes to show that if you work hard, AMAZING THINGS will happen to you.’
Finally, researchers looked at some honest, unbiased reviews written by ‘influencers’. Here is a cloud showing the most popular words used from a sample of 20 reviews of a photo frame, retailing at £4.99:
The word ‘good’ was only used twice – both times in the following context:
‘Good God this product is EPIC’
Researchers say that the newly-removed words may one day find their ways back into a future full version of the OED. But for now they will have to make do with an appearance in this special edition of the dictionary.
Although I have been gifted a copy for the purposes of this honest, unbiased article I can honestly say that it is absolutely amazing and has CHANGED MY LIFE.
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