Although I have crept somewhat stealthily into my 40s in recent years, I feel like my mental faculties are still very much in tact thus far. I can remember most conversations I have, most people I meet and most things I do. The occasions where I don’t remember things are generally because I really wasn’t paying attention in the first place, rather than because my memory is giving up the ghost.
But recently I have started to doubt myself. Or rather Joshua has started to doubt me with such confidence and such frequency that I have subsequently started to doubt myself.
Let’s look at some examples. First off the bath time conversation…
‘Joshua, your bath has been ready for 15 minutes. Can you please get in it!’
‘You never said it was ready. You said it wasn’t bath night.’
‘I told you 20 minutes ago when I started running it. I told you 15 minutes ago when it was ready. I told you 10 minutes ago that it had been ready for 5 minutes.’
‘You said NONE of those things. Why are you lying? It’s rude to lie!’
Then there’s the going absolutely anywhere at all conversation…
‘Right it’s time to go to Sainsbury’s now. Put your shoes on please.’
‘You never said we were going today. You said we were going on Tuesday.’
‘Um, no, I told you when you woke up that we were going to Sainsbury’s at 1130 today. I then reminded you at breakfast, and then 30 minutes ago and then 15 minutes ago.’
‘You said NONE of those things. Why are you lying? It’s rude to lie and you are hurting my feelings!’
Then there’s the ‘asking him to do anything that doesn’t involve Minecraft or Roblox’ conversation…
‘Joshua, for the 27th time, wash your hands and sit down for lunch!’
‘You never said it was lunchtime. In fact you said it WASN’T lunchtime and that I DIDN’T need to wash my hands.’
‘Christ on a bike, Joshua! Did you miss the 26 times I told you it was lunchtime and the 7 times I told you I was making lunch before that?!’
‘You said NONE of those things. It’s rude to lie and you are hurting my feelings and you’re making me sad, and Miss Leverett said you shouldn’t tell lies to your friends!’
You can see the issue right? I’m sat here under the misconception that my brain is still working as well as it always has, and yet CLEARLY I am getting confused, forgetful and covering up my inadequacies with a string of hurtful lies. What kind of parent am I?!
So, if any of you have any tips or tricks to help a 42 year-old who is clearly losing his grip on reality please let me know…