I am a housewife, SAHM, whatever you want to call me. I’ve written a lot about how grateful I am to my husband that we can afford for me to be available to my family whenever they need me. If you want to read more about my life as a SAHM, you can read my guest post on The Tale Of Mummyhood: Mum Is Best series.
Just in case though: “Thank you my love, I’m very grateful, as I’m sure are you.”
Also, just in case … yes, I realise that working moms do all this AND go to work. Well done you guys! I’m actually jealous! I’d love to get away from all those tasks and do something with my day that actually feels meaningful and appreciated whilst also contributing financially to my family. You guys rock!
Now that I’ve got all that out of the way, please read the rest of this post with your sarcasm filter ‘on’!
The life of a housewife/SAHM is not all manicures, coffee dates, gym workouts, regular visits to the hairdresser or luncheons. Actually, none of the SAHMs I’m friendly with live like that.
The reality is that I never get my nails done, I don’t go to the gym, I only go get my hair done once every six months, and lunch is ALWAYS out because of the school run. Coffee dates, maybe one every two weeks. Don’t cry for me, it’s mostly due to the fact that I have other priorities, and not enough time.
Whilst doing the housework, laundry, family tasks, and errands etc, all falls to me, there are a number of tasks that are ‘my’ job that I absobladylutely loathe! And if admitting that makes me an ungrateful b*tch, then so be it.
In no particular order, here they are:
- Cleaning the bathroom – gross! I hate it! Toilets, shower walls, bath scum, hair! *Vomit* This also includes picking up wet towels and hanging them up CORRECTLY! FYI – NO, bundling them together in a heap on the side of the bath, doesn’t count, neither does hanging two or three wet towels on top of each other – seriously, don’t even bother. *eye roll*
- Rolling or unrolling the garden hosepipe – it’s hard, it always kinks, gets stuck or pops off the tap, and I always break a nail (yes, one of the unmanicured ones!) *Tut*
- No matter how good I am at planning my grocery list, sticking to the list and budget, I can guarantee that I will be home from the grocery store for no more than 10 minutes before I find something that has been finished and put back in the cupboard or that will be finished by the next use, like juice/cordial! Always! Every. Single. Time. Why?? FFS!
- Cleaning out the bin. I don’t mind taking the bin bag out, or wheeling the big bin out onto the sidewalk to be collected, or even having to run up the street behind the dustbin truck because I almost forgot … it’s not that. It’s cleaning out the plastic bin where all the *vomit* juices of grossness have leaked out the split bag.
- Laundry – there are two points I hate under this topic actually. a) my family know I don’t check pockets so if you don’t empty them before putting them on the floor next to the laundry basket, then when their contents get ruined in a hot wash cycle, I really have no remorse. None. Nada. Get over it. And b) matching socks. I hate it. I don’t even bother turning them the right way round, if I find two that look like they might match, they go together. If you don’t like it, you are more than welcome to take my housewife crown and do it yourself. The only way to enjoy matching socks is maybe after your second large glass of wine! *ching ching*
I wrote this entire blog post in my head today, whilst doing ALL these things, except for the last one, I’m only on my first glass so far!
What’s your worst household chore? I’m sure I’ve missed a few …
** All meme’s borrowed from various people on Pinterest. Don’t forget to check out my favourite pinterest board: Mom Humour!
This post was first published here. For more from Mom Of Two Little Girls click on the image or recent posts below!