In recent months Joshua has made the really rather unfounded decision that I, with my ageing brain and failing memory, must surely know everything there is to know about every episode of every cartoon series.
Not just the basics – oh no, no, no – the full details of every plot and every character and every theme tune in every episode in every series.
He likes to test me too.
‘Daddy, I want to watch ghost Paw Patrol’
‘Will the Paw Patrol that’s on now be OK?’
‘No. I need to watch ghost Paw Patrol’
Luckily I’m pretty hot on Paw Patrol. The kind of skill that’s acquired from watching every episode eleventy billion times.
‘Is that the one on the ghost ship where the walrus is the ghost, or the one with Marshall sleepwalking?’
‘Sleepwalking Marshall on the skateboard please, Daddy’
Some are not so easy. Today we had:
‘Daddy, I want to watch ‘Truck, Me & You”
‘Truck, Me & You?!’ – I don’t think that exists Joshy’
‘Yes it does. Truck me and you.’
Standard elimination question – ‘Is it on normal TV or Netflix?’
‘Hmmmm. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t exist but OK’ – types in ‘T-R-U-C-K’ on the search menu – bugger all – ‘told you it didn’t exist, son’, I say grinning smugly
‘There it is!’, he exclaims prodding the TV screen.
It turns out ‘Chuck’ the cartoon series about trucks that he watched 4 episodes of THREE FREAKING MONTHS AGO has the line ‘truck, truck me and you’ in the theme tune.
Of course. How did I not know that one?! Silly Daddy.
Sometimes it’s purely to see if I’m paying attention.
‘Daddy, what’s that robot called?’
‘Heatwave, Josh. Same as he was a few minutes ago when you asked’
‘Ahhh yes, Heatwave. Is he the red one?’
‘Yep, still the red one’
‘Oh yes, he’s the red one. Is he a fire truck?’
‘Yes, yes he is’
‘Does he put out fires?’
‘Yep, just like he has done in the 13 consecutive episodes that we’ve just watched…’
Fortunately the one series he hasn’t asked any questions about yet is Vroomiz! I think Joshua knows that even my all-emcompassing knowledge of cartoons is no match for a cartoon broadcast completely in Korean…